Review of Cosmopolis (2012) by Fiorella B — 06 Apr 2013

I practically had a cosmic attack experiencing the David Cronenberg WTF verbally-trippy flick "Cosmopolis". And let's just say that this movie is not worthy of being in the cover of any magazine and that includes Cosmopolitan. To describe "Cosmopolis" would be an exercise in futility or better stated an exercise of stupidity; because that's what the movie was. Not to dis The Cro, because I have always admired how Cronenberg has incorporated existentialism in his films. But in "Cosmopolis", it seemed he tried to hard to make it an avant-guarde experience, when in the end it was too blatant instead of being a subdued cerebral- challenging effort; or maybe he had one too many Cosmopolitans while directing the movie. The movie stars Robert Pattinson as Eric Parker, a young millionaire who has had much success in the numbers game in the market. The movie takes place in a very eventful day for Parker. And much of it takes place in a stretch limo. There are an abundance of characters who one by one enter in & out in Parker's limo and share conversations with him on such topics as the near extinction of the desktop computer to the insecurity of the stock market. Parker is also being hunted down by a psychopath ex-employee, and also receives a daily medical checkup & prostate exam in his limo. Is the future of healthcare for the filthy rich going to be called Limocare? Cronenberg's screenplay within the dialogues of the characters was non-appealing and unauthentic. I don't care how intelligent a person is, people don't talk this way; whether they are in a stretch limo or a taxi cab! Oh by the way, the main goal Parker wants to achieve during this WTF limo ride is to get a haircut. I do have to agree with the good buzz that Pattinson received for his performance. It was very impressive and it salvaged the film from being a complete failure. The great talents that are Paul Giamatti and Juliette Binoche took a thespian ride also in "Cosmopolis", but they were not at their usual "top of their acting game" in this picture. Maybe I just didn't get "Cosmopolis", but even if I did, I don't think it is worth the trippy ride.

** Needs Improvement.