Review of Cosmopolis (2012) by Tazio G — 28 Apr 2013

Elise Shifrin: [on meeting her husband] You absolutely reek of sexual discharge.

An art house piece of garbage! Good lord I can't believe the director and his writers thought they were actually making something special here. Nothing in this movie makes any sense and the weirdness with it. We basically follow a young Wall Street self-made man in his limousine through New York City to get a haircut. That's right, a haircut. What could only be 5 minutes away walking is turned into a full day because he is simply too lazy to leave his futuristic limousine. Along the way to his appointment, he meets numerous people to have pointless philosophical conversations about time, finance, the world and other nonsense. None of these conversations are engaging or interesting to here. Add to this, Eric played by Robert Patterson is so dull and laughable to watch. I'm actually a fan of him outside of this movie and he just doesn't seem right here. His character also has a fetish for sex because he has nothing better to do. Example: a head financial manager has a conversation with him while he's getting his prostrate checked in the limousine by a doctor. Trust me there's even more absurdity to be found. The world around them also is going to hell around the characters having conversations. We never actually learn what's going on. Top top it off Paul Giamatti shows up for another awful conversation as an assassin. I'm into trying new different films, but this simply isn't one of them.