Review of Constantine (2005) by Marischa B — 03 Mar 2013

Let's cast aside the fact that they took everything away that made the comic great (they even pronounced his name wrong, it's ConstanTine, not ConstanTeen). Sometimes, things have to be changed and maybe they had reasons this time. But if you take so much away, you have to add new stuff. And what they added, sucked.

This movie is full of contradictions (if Heaven and Hell can't enter Earth, why does Lucifer just walk in when Constantine dies? Why doesn't John just get the last rites, if that'd send even a demon to heaven?), clichés (the alcoholic priest, the teenage sidekick) and rip-offs (anyone else had the feeling they were watching a bad Exorcist remake in the beginning of the movie?). Don't watch this movie. I'd rather watch the complete Opus of Uwe Boll than seeing Constantine again.