Review of Congo (1995) by Xgary X — 29 Aug 2007

Not quite the abortion I was led to believe it was, this dimwitted action film adapted from a dimwitted book by Michael Crichton is so absurd it is impossible to take seriously. A motley crew of scientists, naturalists, hunters and treasure seekers end up in Zaire finding a talking apes family/discovering a lost diamond mine/getting attacked by killer apes, all at the same time.

And if that's all a little too subtle for you, throw in a volcanic eruption and a laser gun. Daft rather than offensive, but hardly a classic.