Review of Conan the Destroyer (1984) by Tommy C — 24 Jan 2008

Another movie ruined by kids. It just don't make sense why they would change it up to make it kid-friendly expecting to make more money. Still, it's not terrible. Just like 'Godfather III', it doesn't live up to it's predecessor.

Aside from the shitty story, the bad monster effects, the uncool villains, bad stunt casting, shitty dialogue and no explanation as to what happened to Subotai, this movie is pretty decent. There's more action which is pretty good.

You got Conan kicking a little more ass, the same awesome score and Olivia d'Abo looking hella pretty. Other than that, it's a disappointment compared to the first one what with its shitty jokes, Tracey Walter's horrendous line delivery and overall uselessness aside from those awesome dual knives, it just don't feel epic.

Now if only there was a third movie with Valeria and Jehnna and Conan being all pimp, that would be epic.