Review of Conan the Barbarian (2011) by Eden R — 17 Aug 2012

A strange amalgam, which with a bit more effort could have been an OK action film but frustratingly fails at the most basic elements. Once I saw Nispel was directing I expected this to happen. Nispel has a great eye and each of his films looks very crisp with some very nice set scenes but they cannot make up for badly plotted screenplays and especially diabolical dialogue. There are scenes in this film that I could have ad libbed better dialogue.

The plot is ho hum typical Conan but it didn't have to be. The Conan short story normally allows some interesting directions to be taken in pursuing the bad guy but this one does not gel. At no point do you understand why anyone would follow Khalar Singh in his quest for unholy domination. Also, Conan is a legendary character because he is smart, street wise and funny. This Conan looks the part but he repeatedly does the stupidest things and you really question how he could be great at everything that he is reputed to be.

The cast is very very good. Lang, Perlman and McGowan really commit to the material which is a shame at wasting some great B grade performances. The cinematography is very good at some stages then shockingly shoddy in others. An episode of Game of Thrones has better all round cinematic values.

Also, there are some classic Conan aspects such as his god Crom, his Nietzchian world view, his intrinsic values compared to corrupt civilization which allow some meangingful sub text: all this is missing leaving this a pale imitation of John Milius' Conan with Schwarzenneger.