Review of Conan the Barbarian (1982) by Lars H — 19 Feb 2010

The film would have been better if it didn't lose it's luster the further into an actual STORYLINE the film went. The beginning of the film presents us with some amazing shots and sends us into the world of our main character, Conan, who at an early age was taken into slavery by an evil cult.

Now....as soon as Conan gets set free, the vision, the ideas, and everything falls apart. First, Conan let's some chick hang around him as he's infilitrating hidden fortresses, then before you know it, they're in the bedcave doin it like crazy. It lacks CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. it lacks PLOT. It lacks anything that can attach the audience to some sort of emotion. the first 20 or 30 minutes are enjoyable, until you realize that all of this is set up just to show off the masculinity of Arnold. If any film needs to re-done, this is the one. There's alot of promise in the CHARACTER of Conan the Barbarian and this film is just too formulaic to really run with what it has. The character of Conan doesn't have any personal conflicts except he really wants to kill that guy who killed his mom when he was a child way back when. He kind of just stumbles into this "vengeance" plot when he is suddenly freed from his chains.

It's not the driving force of Conan though. The fact is, this movie sucks because Arnold, the screenwriters and the director made it suck. this isn't Arnold's type of role. His facial expressions make dramatic moments laughable. he really shouldn't fill the shoes of a character such as Conan, and I don't feel he brought him to life. In fact, none of the characters were brought to life. The cinematography really is brilliant. The effects really are brilliant for it's time. the film could have worked if it would have been given a longer running time and more character development.

The story was obviously banking on the sudden "Fantasy" phase that Hollywood was going through in the early 80's. Other than a few brilliant John Ford-esque landscape shots, the film lacks legs to run on.