Review of Colombiana (2011) by Dylan D — 18 Mar 2015

This isn't a case where the movie "woulda," "coulda," or "shoulda" been better. Colombiana was doomed to mediocrity from the start. There's not an original figurative bone in its literal 35mm body, and when the shooting script is lifted off the scrap heap of cinema cliché, the movie just doesn't stand a chance.

Director Olivier Megaton's film is polished and slick; it's obvious much care went into ensuring that it looks great, but that's pretty much all the good there is to say about it. The plot is stale, the acting is poor, and the action is monotonous.