Review of Cobra (1986) by Paul K — 24 Feb 2010

I guess if you need one word to describe the movie "Cobra", then atrocious would definitely be it. This is quite simply one of the worst movies that Sylvester Stallone has ever done. Sure it's the 80's, and cheesiness is expected, but there is a point where the line is drawn. This movie was just completely over the top, and the result was very bad.

The plot couldn't be any more simple. Basically, theres a bunch of psycho guys who love to kill people, and Stallone has to stop them. Brigitte Nielson is the sex appeal. That's your movie. Not only is the premise pretty ridiculous, but the dialogue that is packed with it, is out of this world, and not in a good way. Words can't describe how stupid some of the lines I heard were. If I hear the word pig one more time, I'm going to freak out. This film really had one of the most ridiculous opening scenes in the history of cinema...and I'm too lazy to describe it.

Some of the cinematography in this movie is just belly aching. That, mixed in with pore audio overs, didn't really making me a happy camper. It was just really annoying to look at, and that's a problem for everyone without a doubt.

Also, with 80's films you would expect a montage. The montage in this movie was just stupid. It seems like it was just rushed, and I wanted it to be over as soon as it started.

There really isn't anything else to say. "Cobra" did so many things wrong, and not really anything right. Definitely not Stallone's finest hour. A horrible movie without a doubt.