Review of Cobra (1986) by Sylvester K — 19 Jun 2012

"Cobra" was made at a time when Sylvester Stallone was at the height of his most ego-centrical. He was one of the biggest box office draws in the world, and his films at the time reflected an inflated sense of worth. This particular film was probably the worst offender, making it so laughable that I'm forced to recommend it.

Stallone himself gives possibly the worst performance of his career, which when you consider some of his comedies is really saying something. It's an embarrassingly one-note performance completely devoid of personality, and he's forced to spout some of the worst one-liners you'll ever hear.

The rest of the characters are so underwritten that they can be labeled generically: partner, bad guy, damsel in distress, etc. I guess you're a shoe-in for the female lead when you're sleeping with the star and screenwriter. The ridiculous cult is never really given any kind of motivation. There are sleazebags, women and guys in business attire all in the cult, and their meeting that opens the film when they all clash their axes together looks like a Duran Duran video.

Still, for mindless entertainment, this can't be beat. The direction from George Cosmatos is snappy, and the film is never dull. The horrible dialogue is one for the ages, and you just have to laugh at a film that takes itself so seriously. "Cobra" is a low-point in Stallone's career, but it's still one of the best bad movies of all time.