Review of Club Dread (2004) by Al B — 25 Apr 2010

[b]Where:[/b] DVD Rental.

One Line Review: Surprisingly entertaining for a low grade horror/comedy. Rent only, so that you can make fun of it.

The plot is completely implausible, but they manage to have some actual scary scenes, decent special effects while keeping a certain level of sexual innuendo and humour going the entire way.

Plus hawt chicks. Brittany Daniel and Jordan Ladd are quite babelicious, it is unfortunate that I will probably never see them in another movie again. Well, ok. Brittany was in Joe Dirt, which I was unfortunate enough to see thanks to TMN. And she's going to be in White Chicks. But I don't plan on seeing that. I don't. Really.

It's sophomoric and low brow, yet totally what we were in the mood for. A great movie for sitting back, eating pizza, and making fun of. It is nothing more than blood, bodies, scantily clad women, and sexual innuendo... but with the right crowd making fun of it, anything can be entertaining.

Quotes:

[i]Juan: I may need a few more hours to pump her for information.

[It has just been revealed that Juan has spent time in prison].

Dave: What the fuck did you do, man? Costa Rican prison - that's some hardcore anal action, man.

Juan: Ok... Juan Castillo... went to jail... for having sex... with a goat. Ok? It that what you wanted to hear? We lived on a farm! And I got lonely!

Juan: [About the goat incident] "At least I wore a comdom.".

Jenny: You told me they were against your religion!

Juan: Uuuhhhh... I'm going to go find Pe-ne-lope.

Dirk: Something just brushed up against my leg.

Jenny: Shut up.

Dirk: No. There's seriously something down here. Oh no wait! It's just my gigantic cock.

Penelope: I go to Oral Roberts.

Juan Castillo: Oral Roberts? Is that like Anal Johnson? Because I have done that a few times. Or was it Dirty Sanchez?

Sam, The Fun Police: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Coconut Pete's Pleasure Island. You have the right to fun. If you choose not to have fun, fun will be provided for you.

Lars: I guess now they'll kick me out of the Pacifists Club.

Jenny: Or just ask you nicely to leave.

Putman: David, you hated him for killing your parents. You see, what none of us did know, what none of us could know, was that David's parents were trampled to death at a Coconut Pete concert.

Jenny: What the hell's wrong with you Putman. Everyone knows Dave's parents got killed at a Pete show.

Juan: Way to bring up on a sore subject. [/i].