Review of Clash of the Titans (2010) by Sarah L — 19 Jan 2013

I'd been waiting to see this movie ever since I heard it was getting made. I knew it wouldn't be as wonderful as the campy original, but jeez... I expected much more than this.

Everything that made the original great was thrown away to make room for more CGI, more action scenes, more slow-motion-leaping-through-the-fire type shots.

The plot was almost entirely changed, ignoring not only the original movie, but the actual myth itself. Am I the only one who is sick of Greek Mythology movies becoming 'lets go to the Underworld and fight Hades' movies? Hades wasn't even IN the original, or the Perseus myth itself. So why change it for this remake? Why use what's already been done a million times? I'd love to see a film were Hades isn't portrayed as the villain for once. Sure, he's the God of the Underworld, but that doesn't mean he was evil, and Hollywood need to stop riding on the coattails of plots past and creepy Disney villains, and make something damn original.

If they had left out the whole Hades crap, they could of used Calibos a lot more. Also, why the heck did they make him Acrisius? Calibos and Acrisius were two different characters, and were thrown together in this remake simply because they couldn't be bothered to tell the Calibos myth, instead opting for cool-looking flashy lightning to strike Acrisius and transform him into Calibos. Ok, sure.

Speaking of pointless plot-changes, what on EARTH were the Djinn creatures all about? They reminded me of the Desert People from Star Wars, and made no sense in this movie at all.

Io was yet another ridiculous addition to the cast. She completely took the focus off Andromeda, who might as well of not been in the movie at all, so undeveloped as she was. By making Perseus' love interest Io, we felt hardly anything for Andromeda, and almost agreed with that crazy guy who wanted to sacrifice her to the Kraken to save Argos. Meh, might as well, she had no purpose at all. Io was quite obviously put there to use as eye candy, and to get the obligatory play-fight-ends-in-rolling-on-the-floor-together scene.

All of the heartpounding suspense from the original Medusa scene had vanished. The original's game of cat and mouse far excelled the remake's take on it. And I must point out how callous Perseus' "don't look the bitch in the eyes" remark was. Io had just explained how tragic and heartbreaking Medusa's story actually is, and Perseus comes out with that little nugget before slicing her head off. What a nice guy.

The CGI really didn't do it for me, either. The glowing armour of the Gods made me want to tear my eyeballs out, and Medusa looked about as real as the Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns. The Kraken's graphics were pretty good, but it was a real shame the creature hardly lasted five minutes. And I did like the Scorpions too.

Although I liked the Scorpions, their capture and use as transport almost completely stole the thunder from Pegasus, who was in the movie for the briefest of moments.

The acting was emotionless and incredibly pantomime. I adore Ralph Fiennes, but his portrayal of a withered, raspy Hades was something I didn't expect from him. And Sam Worthington was far too doom and gloomy for Perseus.

The movie was a mad sprint for a terrible, anti-climatic ending. None of the characters were developed enough for me to give a crap about them, and I was too busy raging at the countless mythology errors to even try.

....Loved the Bubo reference though!