Review of Chopping Mall (1986) by Melissa S — 03 Jun 2007

Next to Troll and Ghoulies and all of their unfortunate sequels, Chopping Mall is quite possibly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Despite its poor editing, trite plot, horrendous special effects and blatantly stupid characters, Chopping Mall, produced by B-movie legend, Roger Corman, has established itself as one of the most awesomely bad movies of all time. As a fan of not only Corman?s work but horseshit movies in general, I fell in love with this gem after watching it on late night Cinemax.

The one sad, if not incredibly hilarious aspect of Mall is that director Jim Wynorski more than likely intended to create a serious science-fiction/horror film that espoused the dangerous implications of futuristic, robotic technology on civilian populations. Or not.

Considering the movie's heroes are a bunch of horny teenagers who decide to spend the night at a local mall for a tasteful, high school orgy and are massacred by three shitty looking robots, Wynorski unintentionally created a comedy. Some, if not all of the film?s erratic humor is found in its violent and terribly constructed scenes; horny teenaged girl #1 (names are irrelevant) is caught in the path of one of the killer robots. Before getting a chance to move (actually, she is allotted more than enough time to escape but spends most of it screaming), the robot fires a highly concentrated laser at her head, causing it to explode. A total LOLfest, if you will.

If anything, I would recommend renting this if you?re planning an MST3K themed party and need a good film to shit on.

I also found it necessary to point out that the robots do not have humanoid arms and hands as the official movie poster presents.