Review of Chained Heat (1983) by Charles P — 04 Dec 2011

I love the WIP genre, and this is the best example. The Big Doll House is great, Caged Heat is a classic, and I really liked the excesses of Sadomania and Ilsa: the Wicked Warden, but Chained Heat is just sublime.

Linda Blair, Sybil Danning, Stella Stevens, Tamara Dobson aka Cleopatra Jones, Monique Gabrielle...there's more scenery chewing, beautiful T & A, gore, and just general badassery per minute than any of the previous examples.

There's also sleaze, drug use, sadism, and a knife fight between Danning and Dobson: this last is a showdown between the toughest white and black woman in the joint, so it's a good one. John Vernon (the dean from Animal House) is the warden who dishes out powdered dope treats in exchange for hot tub sex.

It's as if the director, writer, and actors said, "Let's give the drive-in audience exactly what they paid for, and just deliver a hot, sleazy, kick ass, fun movie!" Anyone who thinks most movies today are entertaining should 1) have their head examined, then 2) watch this and realize that most movies are about as fun as watching a less-involving-than-average video game.

46% liking this one on Flixster makes me realize that I'm probably wasting my time here, if you like exploitation movies, you're OK - if you're not go join the other 54% watching American Idol you lame f**k.