Review of Caligula (1979) by Joseph B — 02 Dec 2010

Is it porn? Is it art? After its lengthy two and a half hours I still don't know. However what I do know is that I never want to see Caligula again. Ever.

Only in the seventies would you find top British acting talent like Helen Mirren and Peter O'Toole in a multi-million dollar historical epic, chewing scenery amidst ceaseless sex. And I'm not talking about Jessica Alba sex scenes here (by that I mean bra on, dimly lit, under the sheets stuff), Caligula features extensive examples of the most graphic sex I have ever seen in a movie. From the outset shots of genitalia become second nature, and before long the film is awash with oral and penetrative sex. There are no smoke and mirrors either, these are real people having real sex.

Some have called it pure smut; I think I'd be inclined to agree. I initially found it amusing in a bizarre sort of way, but once it became clear that this was to continue for the entire 165 minutes, my amusement quickly turned to indifference, and finally disgust. Don't misunderstand, I strongly believe that sex has its place in cinema. Graphic eroticism can be very artistic and beautiful; the 'Take Off With Us' number from Fosse's All That Jazz (1979) comes to mind as a good example. However the sex here serves very little purpose, especially considering its prominence.

For example a scene near the end of the film features a woman fellating a man until he ejaculates into her mouth. Like most of the sex it is completely unnecessary to the plot, yet is delivered in unflinching detail by directors Tinto Brass and Bob Guccione. It gets worse however, as one scene depicts a woman fingering herself with the blood of a recently killed man, before urinating on his body, cutting off his penis and feeding it to a dog. You couldn't make it up!

Sex aside, are there any actual merits to this film? Well the cast are fine; Malcolm McDowell in the lead role is suitably over-the-top, while Peter O'Toole's decent turn is sadly overshadowed by the unending orgy around him. Similarly the costumes, when the actors are actually wearing clothes, are fairly impressive, and the art direction is worth noticing if you manage to avert your eyes long enough from the sex. However outside this there really isn't much to save Caligula from being utter garbage. The script is muddled and uninspired, the direction is about as good as you would expect from your average porno, and let's not even start on the famously messed up editing (try matching the end credits that are supposedly in order of appearance, with the order that the actors actually appear in the film).

As such Caligula fails at being both the big screen epic and the humble porno. Some will enjoy the novelty of seeing A-list actors share a scene with a mind-bogglingly real orgy, however for those who are not swayed by this idea then do yourself a favour and avoid this one at all costs.