Review of Caged No More (2016) by Sean H — 24 Jan 2016

Loretta Devine better get a Razzie nomination for this one. She was attempting to channel a Cajun accent but couldn't seem to remember which words she was saying which way. This became Dis became This became Dis again. The individual performances in this new Christian film were either aloof like Kevin Sorbo in both of his roles or so far over the top like Devine that one can't help but laugh at how terrible it all is. Only star Alan Powell comes out relatively unscathed with a fairly even performance though even he too played relatively uninterested considering he was tasked with getting his nieces out of sexual slavery.

It's too bad too as the film actually goes into some dark territory for a church film. When done right, they can be downright entertaining and very watchable such as God's Not Dead or the Rapture horror film The Remaining. But this is not very good at all. Loretta Devine is Aggie, a former nanny to Macy whose husband Jack (Kevin Sorbo) is off in Greece selling his youngest daughter into sex slavery to pay off some debts that he owes the drug cartels. Macy kills herself and as she lays dying in Aggie's arms makes Aggie promise to rescue the girls. We come to find out that Jack has a twin brother Richard who is a very well off man that Aggie seeks out for help. Richard has an armed forces son Will (Powell) who takes on the mission of rescuing the nieces.

Plot wise, the movie is pretty solid. For $40 million dollars this could have been quite a movie. Instead, to cover up not having a budget, it's a lot of exposition through Will's narration and cheap sets and close up scenes. An action flashback to Will's military service shows him crawling in the dirt and little else. Brothels in Greece are poorly lit rooms and hallways with extras strewn about. You work with the budget you have and you give thanks when your core audience's heroes in conservative governor Bobby Jindal, and FOX news anchors Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham are willing to chip in their appearances for free it certainly helps.

The one think I did actually like about this film was that Aggie broached the question of why God isn't there all the time. Why should he help these two privileged white girls when the rest of the world is suffering so much. After the film is a confusing message about not letting your kids spend time on social media but if they are then use the hashtag #Cagednomore in that time. It really is too bad that this movie is so bad because the message they are sending is a hopeful one on a serious topic.

This Queen is going to hell. A generous 2 out of 5 rainbows.

1 rainbow - How did this get funded?

2 rainbows - You might find something of interest here but unlikely.

3 rainbows - Serves as a useful and entertaining enough distraction as a matinee.

4 rainbows - Stop reading this review and find a theater showing this film now!

5 rainbows - I'll need to find a spot for this in my Top 100 list. Absolutely flawless.