Review of Burlesque (2010) by Stephen M — 07 May 2012

Quelle tragique! The plot of Burlesque is old, tired, stale, stereotypical, boring-there aren't enough adjectives to describe how many hundreds of times we've seen this dusty storyline. The best part of this embarrassing flick is Aguilera's powerhouse voice, dressed in sparkly costumes, hoofing out Fosse choreography that is flashy but unsurprising, dull, lifeless...

Aguilera is from small-town Iowa; she goes out to LA to become a star. There she finds the Burlesque Lounge, a show club run by grande dame Cher (doing a drag impersonation of herself.) Oh, no! Someone call up Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney to put on a show, because the club's short on funds and about to be foreclosed! Can Aguilera and her bartender/songwriter boyfriend (Gigandet) save the place with a song? Are evil developer Dane and rival showgirl Bell going to stop her?

In movie musicals, if everything else is spectacular, you can haul out just such ham. Unfortunately, the song choices are weird; none of the tunes move the flimsy story along. The acting quality is hard to gauge with such wispy character development. However, it's easy to tell that Cher's wax-like plastic surgery has officially gotten in the way of her once-formidable thespian talents.

The few good moments come across as quality Aguilera music videos. The rest though, isn't good enough to recommend, and it isn't trashy enough to appreciate for its Showgirls-like trapping.