Review of Bride of the Monster (1955) by Andy F — 07 Jul 2012

Ed Wood, Jr. how I despise you right now. This is watchable for only two reasons, 1) you're wasted and with friends (or alone, wasted and nothing to do or see) and 2) it's Bela Lugosi's final film appearance.

Bela Lugosi is the only decent actor here and the "monster" is an octopus that Wood had to steal from an abandoned set from a prior John Wayne movie. Good thing Wood's lackeys were as stupid as he (they forgot to steal the motor that could help make the thing look less like a giant blob of plastic).

I was going to give an "otherwise" we'd have lost some form of entertainment value in this sentence but then I realized that the 1hr.9min. running time still couldn't keep Ed from such sloppy direction that you become BORED of his incompetence.

I even tried to view this from the standpoint of a less film savvy 1950s audience, but really...this is just effing terrible. If you must see any of this clown's movies I suggest you stick with GLEN OR GLENDA or PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.

This is strictly for those who love to throw MST3K parties while watching otherwise unwatchable dreck.