Review of Bride of the Monster (1955) by Mr P — 05 Jun 2007

Brilliantly bad. Cracked me up several times. There's no real plot. All I know is...people disappear in this swamp or whatever...and are apparently being killed off by a stock footage octopus. Inside a nearby lair, Bela Lugosi and Tor Johnson fiddle around and attempt to create a race of supermen.

However, every time Bela captures someone he seems to electrocute them and kill them. I don't understand why he thinks this will make them super...instead of dead. Sometimes Bela will feed the people to his rubber octopus of a pet.

..resulting in some of the funniest scenes in movie history. Not once, or twice, but three times we get to see this rubber octopus battle its horrified victims. The thing just lays there as people jump (err fall?) into its slimy arms.

..and act as if they are indeed helpless. We get roughly 20 seconds or so to see these people tie themselves up in the rubber arms...screaming and kicking...instead of just getting up and walking off set.

This happens 3 times...and these battles go on for far too long...much to my delight. The budget is so cheap in this film that poor Tor Johnson doesn't even get shoes or socks. Shame on you production staff!!! It's really sad to see Bela in this.

He's far past his prime, he's old, he may be senile. He's a mad scientist....sadly channeling his classic Dracula character...using his hypnotic hands to control his victims. It doesn't work this time around Bela.

..I'm sorry. But hey, this movie is as legendary as Dracula...just in a bizarro world/what were they thinking/shoot me now please/this is poopy sorta way.