Review of Boxing Helena (1993) by Gordon B — 02 Jul 2008

I saw this out of sheer curiosity. I heard it was highly controversial, and I'm a sucker for controversial films, such as A Clockwork Orange, Kids, The Last Temptation of Christ, and Salo. Many people criticize this for being tasteless, demeaning, pornographic, absurd, and what have you.

Do I think it's pornographic? No. Is it absurd? Well, yeah. Is it demeaning? Well, it depends on who we're talking about. Is it tasteless? Yes. But, the one thing I'm surprised not a lot of people mentioned is how boring this movie is.

There's no tension, the characters are stupid and one-dimensional, all the performances suck, the female lead, who is the victim of the Julian Sands character, is a relentless bitch to pretty much anyone she comes in contact with (which rules out any sympathy whatsoever), the cinematography is lazy, and even though it ran under two hours, it felt like three.

Not to mention, the ending was a major cop-out. There were a few things this movie needed. The film needed a script doctor, more character development, a better cinematographer, and most importantly, it needed an editor.

Like I said, this film was a curiosity. But, as the old saying goes, "curiosity killed the cat." Well, if it killed anything, it killed my patience. 'Boxing Helena' is boring, boring, boring.