Review of Blood and Bone (2009) by Truman T — 18 Jul 2010

I'm fast becoming the latest fan of Michael Jai White, I mean come on! Who didn't like Spawn? Right..? Anyway, after seeing the hallmark American Classic that is Black Dynamite I was more than eager to follow-up that Hiroshima-bomb-of-awesomeness with something a little more humble and less realistic, yet equally enjoyable to watch and also starring Mr. Jai White. At the time, I wasn't holding my breath.

This soon became possible however, after a magnificent event that will be remembered and celebrated by the children of our children, long after we are dead and gone; the greatest event in the history of the American entertainment industry: the day Hollywood Video went out of business. Of course my current financial situation precluded me from participating in the frenzied hordes of film fans flocking to their local Hollywood Video outlet and pawing over the mountains of DVDs being given away at prices that bordered on ridicule. Thus, I endeavored to mooch off of every one of my friends who did stampede with that rabble by borrowing the DVDs they managed to salvage from the wreckage. It is within one of these heaps of disc cases that my fingers closed around Blood and Bone, which just so happened to be exactly what I was looking for: another movie where Michael Jai White kills somebody within the first 5 minutes of footage! (if you could see my face right now, I'd be grinning like a madman).

The verdict: wicked-freaking awesome! Okay that's a little too strong, so let me just start over here..... the verdict: better than I'd ever hoped it would be. There, that's more fitting. Okay, I heard this movie was a straight-to-DVD release, not exactly surprising. Considering the production quality, its not nearly as polished as so-called "theater-worthy" films. But folks, if you take anything away from this review, remember this: Avatar was a "theater-worthy" movie. What does that tell you? Eh? Heh-he! I digress... My original point was meant to articulate the idea that even though this is a straight-to-DVD film, and clearly not as expensively produced as certain Hollywood blockbusters, which also happen to suck balls *cough*Avatar*cough*cough*, it's actually a pretty good film... and it doesn't suck balls, so...

Michael Jai White leads as Bone, an atypical tough guy, with a small secret, who works his way through the underworld of LA street fighting by walking cool and casually over the broken bodies of his vanquished opponents. Of course he's something of a rarity, possessing unrivaled finesse in the art of pain and death. In essence, he is Michael Jai White, to the bone (much pun intended). A wide and diverse cast of supporting characters fill the gaps between the action, providing some much needed personality to substitute for Bone who mostly waxes the strong-silent-type attitude; Bone's partner, the witty Pinball is the more memorable of the bunch, although Eamon Walker also does a decent job as the maniacal scheming villain. It's actually surprising to say that the movie truly has a decent story to tie together all the violence and cracked bones; including a genuinely interesting revelation toward the end. If you just like to watch dudes beat the living crap out of each other though, you've come to the right place.

Its an action flick; anyone who is a fan of action or martial arts should check it out on general principle and be pleasantly surprised, considering the fact that its a straight-to-DVD film. The fight scenes are exciting and well-choreographed, even if they verge into campy every now and again when the director tries a little too hard to reiterate the fact that Bone is a badass. The movie does, after all, serve as a conduit for Micahel Jai White to showboat how many ways he can kill people with his bare hands. And yes, Kimbo Slice makes an appearance in cameo, sure to draw those crowds of UFC fans like flies to a corpse.

In a sense, this movie stands with the tradition of classic martial arts movies, where a lone hero takes on overwhelming odds with nothing but his fists, feet and elbows... and he wins. It doesn't need to have a story at all, really, but it does and its not bad. I think most people, as I was, will be surprised to find how good of a film this is. It's not amazing or anything, but you won't regret watching it either, definitely worth a viewing. Parents be warned however, the dialogue features the gross repetition of a single compound word throughout the entire film. I won't exactly say it here, but it starts with 'mother' and ends with 'ucker'. As long as you're not French, a gay fag or a woman, you'll most likely enjoy this movie.