Review of Blockers (2018) by Willie W — 26 Jan 2019

In this hormone laden autobiography of John Cena's mid-life crisis, millennials finally receive the recognition they deserve for butt chugging craft beers and pioneering feminism. With a healthy dose of father-daughter sexual tension, Cena also tries to salvage what's left of his failing career by performing acts more risqué than wearing tights and wresting oiled up adult males; these acts include chewing on his daughter's used underwear, playing with her vibrator, and infiltrating her DMs with taboo emojis.

This doesn't even scratch the surface of what is now seen as the 21st century's greatest novel-based incest docudrama... keep reading. Despite Kayla's greatest efforts to get pounded out by her pansexual prom tinder date, Cena lays the smackdown out of pure seething jealousy by undertaking in various fratboy party tricks.

We can see you, John Cena.