Review of Bled (2009) by Jason D — 27 Apr 2009
Wow, what a piece of crap. Bled had the potential to be a unique ultra-gothic spin on the Vampire story, but thanks to a handful of terrible actors, that idea will NEVER come to fruition. Bled is about a big-tittied, tortured artist (aren't they all) who encounters a buyer, the mysterious Renfield (gee, clever) who she takes back to her apartment where he introduces her to tree bark crack.
Yes, there is a piece of bark he carries in a box that has blood red saps stuck to it. You peel the sap out onto a spoon and light that sucker up crackhead style, them hum those fumes for the ultimate high.
By ultimate high, I mean you turn into a person from a black and white film and then transport to another dimension where a creature resides that fulfills your pleasures, while subtlety draining you of your lifeforce.
Naturally, the artist becomes addicted and then gets all of her roommates to try to, thus causing an assortment of consequences. Some people get killed, included a harmless handicapped man that really had no stake in the film to begin with, but whatever.
This movie is just awful. The direction isn't that bad, and the concept of the story seemed unique and original, but it was all put together very sloppily. What was only 95 minutes seemed like 3 hours.
Terrible film, though you lovers of gay vampire film and literature should love this movie.
This review of Bled (2009) was written by Jason D on 27 Apr 2009.
Bled has generally received negative reviews.
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