Review of Black Water (2008) by Drew S — 09 Jun 2008
Ultimately, the first thing you should know about Black Water is that in its ninety minute running time, there are MAYBE seven crocodile attacks. None of them last longer than a minute. That means we are left with 83 minutes to fill with other substance. You can stop right here if you've heard enough, or read the rest of my breakdown.
The first fifteen minutes establish the characters and the setting before we actually see any of Mister Croc. Fair enough - you need that. So that's 68 minutes we have left. What do they put in this hour-long span?
Arguments about rope. Vain attempts at flipping their capsized boat over. Discussions of the river's length. Incredibly long, unsuspenseful scenes of wandering through trees. Minute upon minute of worthless, colorless dead air. This is not a horror movie; it's a fucking National Geographic highlights reel with a few dismembered limbs thrown in. This is absolutely not worth a minute of your time, unless you want to slog through some overblown pretender to Open Water's (dubious) throne.
This review of Black Water (2008) was written by Drew S on 09 Jun 2008.
Black Water has generally received mixed reviews.
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