Review of Beowulf (2007) by Patryk C — 28 Jul 2012

Running around nekkid, thumping anything that moves and screaming his name repeatedly, Beowulf comes across like a big dumb jock... probably close to the ancient Saxon ideal of a hero. The movie is ordinary, the story, overwhelmed by the CG animation which seems optimised more for 3D viewing.

Also suffers from the creepy "dead-eyes" problem. Despite what you might think, the film is rather coy about nudity: Beowulf's boy bits are continuously covered by fortuitously placed objects; Jolie's full frontal is about as erotic as the sexless mound of a gilded Barbie doll.

I expected more, which was probably the problem.