Review of Benny & Joon (1993) by Matt W — 24 Dec 2010

Meh. I only checked this out 'cause it's an old school Johnny Depp flick.

Its annoying and formulaic. And every major event that happens in this movie seems like a plot device to keep the story going. How does Benny (Depp) meet Joon? She wins "custody" of him (too much to explain here) in a poker game. Her brother who never lets her as much as lift a finger, but is at the same time such a loving brother and such a good guy, he can't get his own romantic relationships together. Awwwwwwwww. From the moment he meets Julianne Moore we know it will work out between them because hes so dedicated and she's so sexy. And also because the plot to this movie is about as deep as gay porn. The greatest plot "twist" was towards the end when bro acts like an asshole and kicks Benny out of the house when he finds out that he is porking his sister. But then he realizes he was an asshole, Depp goes back to banging Sis, Bro bangs Julianne Moore, and the same shitty Pretenders song that played over the opening credits plays over the closing credits.

The "crazy people" that fall in love are a little to attractive to be crazy. You ever see a psychiatric ward? Its fucking disgusting. Your run-of-the-mill schizo looks acts and smells like shit. They wear the same clothes for days, their hygeine is abysmal and thats the good crowd that doesn't wallow in feces. This movie calls them crazy, but really its two really attractive people that look like they just walked off the hair and makeup set with lovable "quirks". Depp looks and acts and dresses like a 20s movie star. Joon acts more like a spoiled 12 year old cunt then a truly crazy bitch. She throws tantrums everywhere. But then she hooks up with Benny and all of her mental problems are miraculously solved.

This is one of those cheesy ass "love knows no bounds" or "all you need is love" flicks. Its plot is lame, great actors are wasted on cheesy characters, and it resolves itself way too neatly. a generous 40% only because I fucking love Julianne Moore.