Review of Beauty and the Beast (2017) by Kat D — 20 Sep 2017

If I could give this movie less than a star, I would. Disney made sure to keep the hype train rolling with this, and after the success of Jungle Book and (kind of) success of Cinderella, I expected much better from THIS movie than what I got.

What I expected was a beautiful adaptation and recreation of the animated film I had grown up with, and with what Disney kept flaunting, my hopes were high.

What I got was a 129 minute waste of my money and life.

Honestly its pretty easy to take a beloved film, autotune every singer, CGI literally everything but (most) of the actors, and phone in most of the story. Disney has proven this.

Nobody asked nor wanted the added backstory to Belle. Changing Gaston from just a stupid, egomaniacal jerk into a PTSD gun-happy psycho 1/3rd of the way through the film sent great messages to the kids I bet. And I don't even want to know who didn't bring their brain to work on the day they decided that 70-80% of the 'Be Our Guest' number be entirely made up of CLOSE UPS of the CGI Lumieres face. You know, the most famous scene of the movie besides the ballgown scene. Oh! Speaking of, great idea to make the dress CG as well, nobody noticed at all. the beautiful empty backgrounds and extremely boring choreography totally took our attention away from the obviously computer generated garment.

Honestly, the only good thing I can say about this movie was the casting. Mostly. Everyone was very good, I loved Kevin Kline as Maurice. But Jesus Mary and Joseph, who decided Emma Watson would be a good Belle?! There are literally thousands of actresses who actually care to act most of the time, who are also musically inclined. Do they not count? Does it cost less to autotune a pretty face?

There were only what, 4 or 5 actual actors in the movie that could actually sing? They barely got any screen time at all. What's the point?! They even got Bill Condon to direct! The same man who brought us Chicago and Dreamgirls. This is what he came up with?! Was he given $5 And a cheeseburger and a month to make this? I could have made better without the $5!

Disney. We love you, but stop ruining perfectly beautiful movies to make money.

If Lion King is a ruined masterpiece, I will just give up hope that Disney is good at all. I've already lost hope for Aladdin and Mulan.

Tl;Dr "Beauty and the Beast" 2017 is a bloated, overhyped cinematic mess, and I wish I could get my money back.