Review of Battleship (2012) by Magicsquid — 08 Jul 2012

This movie is utterly terrible. The only highlight comes early on when the movie recreates a viral video of a stupid thief breaking into a liquor store by falling through the roof and smashing merchandise on his way to the floor. Aside from that one scene, this movie has almost no redeeming qualities. The action is dull, the acting is cheesy at best, the plot is something out of a middle school writing assignment and the whole movie from start to finish is so unbelievably and unforgivably implausible that I found myself I found myself watching it just to say that I finished it and gave it a fair shake before it sank to the bottom of my "worst movies" list. The movie seemed bent on ruining its own attempts to pull you into it by swiftly kicking you in the mouth every minute with a face-palm worthy line or a terrible attempt at humor.

The whole movie came off to me as a shameful attempt to milk money out of the market. They should have made it into a cartoon or better yet: not at all and donated the money they saved to charity and I would have been impressed.

20 years from now, when someone asks me why I'm so jaded, I'll tell them that this movie was the point at which I irredeemably lost my faith in humanity.

This movie is lousy and downright insulting in its portrayal of our sailors and service men and women.