Review of Battleship (2012) by Paul G — 29 Aug 2014

Since giant alien robots weren't enough to satsify Hasbro's greed, they decided to make a movie based off of a board game that didn't even have a cartoon or comics unlike Transformers and G.

I. Joe. The script needs a bit of work and do you want to see giant alien ships? You have to sit through tedious human conflicts for the first half-hour. The main character got a girlfriend just by GETTING HER A CHICKEN BURRITO! BY BREAKING INTO A STORE! Nice to know the writers are capable of interpreting women as well as Michael Bay.

Though if you turn your brain off and ignore the contrivances in this plot and its derivative nature, Battleship is fun. The visual effects are amazing, the action sequences are cool and the explosions are pretty to look at.

Shame its overreliant on them. I could do with an onscreen death once in a while, you know. Is Battleship perfect? No. Is it noisy? Very. Is it fun? More or less given the board game's lack of substantial.

What was up with that pointless Marvel-style post-credits scene? Uh...Peter Berg is a hipster because he liked post-credits scenes before they were cool.