Review of Bangkok Dangerous (2008) by Sean G — 21 Jul 2009

I was taught four rules...

One: Don't ask questions. There is no such thing as right and wrong.

Two: Don't take an interest in people outside of work. There is no such thing as trust.

Three: Erase every trace. Come anonymous and leave nothing behind.

Four: Know when to get out. Just thinking about it means it's time. Before you lose your edge, before you become a target. - Joe.

A sour remake that should have been titled Bangkok Dull as Dishwater.

Steely assassin Joe is in Bangkok and hired by crimelord Surat to carry out a few contract killings. Joe is one of the best assassins in the business and is a man who follows his four rules religiously. This is going to be his last assignment and after he completes his assassinations in Bangkok, he's calling it quits. But after being a hitman for so long, Joe is starting to see things differently and his humanity is starting to finally erupt out of him. For his assignment in Bangkok, he hires a young street crook, Kong, to assist him. When Kong screws up, Joe is about to kill him but doesn't. He sees something in the young man and decides to train him in how to handle himself. Joe also falls for a mute pharmacist, named Fon, which he hopes he can settle down with once his mission is over. However, by becoming sloppy and getting to close to people, this will ultimately be his downfall and he will learn the real dangers of Bangkok.

This film is directed by Danny and Oxide Pang, otherwise known as The Pang Brothers. This is also a remake of the 1999 Pang Brother's film of the same name and critically this film does not live up to it. A lot in this movie needed to be fleshed out more and this assassin movie has lots of the same old genre clichés that we've seen before.

Nicholas Cage portrays the main character, Joe, an assassin who by the look of him, he has gotten bored with his job. He states at the beginning of the story what his four rules are and of course, he ends up breaking them which ultimately leads to his downfall. Nicholas Cage is a good actor and doesn't do a bad job and he is clearly the film's biggest strength. He's a talented actor but surely the guy must have known that this film wasn't going to be that good. His face is just as long as a bloodhound's and he has a rat's nest haircut. Joe is a lethal assassin and will use people to further his goals. However, out of the blue he decides to be a mentor to his errand boy Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm) and train him in the ways of the assassin. Also unexpectedly, he becomes infatuated with a mute pharmacist named Fon (Charlie Yeung). All it took was one smile from her to make him crazy for some Fon. This relationship aspect of the film happens too randomly and the whole thing isn't as fleshed out as it should be. It's also boring and drags the film down a bit because the girl doesn't say a word and it's Nicky Cage talking to himself. Kong also forms a relationship with a burlesque girl Aom (Panward Hemmanee) and it all happens in no time. There is no connective tissue with these characters and by the time the climax happens, all the characters are in danger and the filmmakers expect us to feel for these people, which you don't. The acting by the supporting cast isn't bad, but it doesn't elevate the film.

The action scenes are typical hitman stuff and I would have liked to have seen more kills instead of the pathetic relationship crap. The biggest fault of this movie is the story. Joe prides himself on being as silent as a ninja but goes all Rambo on his targets. He also just disregards his rules and forms attachments for two-dimensional characters, which ultimately makes the film boring. Check this one out if you're a die hard Cage fan or if you want to waste some time watching what should have been a direct-to-home video release.

There's only one way out.