Review of Assault on Precinct 13 (2005) by Ven-Wede — 23 Jan 2012

The only scene worth a damn in this ghastly remake is the very opening one, featuring Ethan Hawke close to his best. However, as the film drags along you will slowly be treated to an increasingly hopeless array of actors (including the wonderful anti-talents Ja Rule and John Leguizamo) who blather non-stop about things neither relevant nor interesting.

For some reason plans that would be obvious to any airhead trapped in the protagonists' position are called 'smart moves' by Byrne (who is barely given anything else to say or do). Dennehy utilises his talents in saying 'those are Bishop's men' constantly.

A pointless romantic sideplot is brought up and dropped along with an equally pointless drug addiction sideplot. Also, it seems like the movie was recorded with no director of photography, as almost the ENTIRE film is completely shot in varying shades of blue and black, with some of the absolute shoddiest camera work this side of a 'found-footage' picture.

Often action scenes will be incomprehensible due to unnecessary close-ups and shaky movement, and other times it will be so dark that it is impossible to see. With so much wrong with Assault on Precinct 13, it's a mystery how it was even considered to be worth people's money.

There is no reason to watch this.