Review of Army of Darkness (1992) by Cf M — 09 Nov 2012

What can I say? This is one of my favorite movies. If you don't like swords and sorcery, stop reading. Mild profanity ahead.

This is Bruce Campbell's finest hour. Heroic. Handsome. Charismatic. Tough guy. Dumb ass. Bad ass. Hero.

In 1982 I saw a movie I classified honestly as the "Worst Movie Ever". I hated it. Cheesy horror. Creepy effects, but went nowhere. I had nothing but spite for it. For 10 years, I bad mouthed it as my most hated. I reviled it.

In 1993, an anachronisic adventure movie about a sporting goods department store salesman thrown out of time into the past to become an unlikely hero was advertized. It looked cool. I went in, and all the guys in the theatre were saying the lines in the film. And the lines were awesome. And the adventure was awesome. The music was orchestral and excellent. The effects were cheap but amazing. There was humor, some campy, but there was also horror, action, and wonderful heroics. I loved the movie. A major favorite. I discovered that it was the third movie in the Evil Dead series. Oh the irony. One of my favorites spawned from one of my most hated movies. But it is not horror. It is action and adventure and swashbuckling, and clever lines and clever writing. Ash travels to the past, loves a woman, saves two kingdoms, heroically smites horiffic evil, and comes back home.

The lines in this movie are absolutely awesome and quoteable.

"Yo. She bitch. Let's go.".

"I'll swallow your soul!" "Come get some.".

"You found me beautiful once" "Baby you get real ugly".

"Ok, you primtive screwheads, listen up!".

"If any of you primates so much as TOUCHES me..." BOOM!

"First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.".

"Waitaminute! I'm not WITH these assholes!".

"Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YA GOT THAT?!".

(Note K-Mart and Sears are now one store. So S-Mart now exists. :-).

"Give me some sugar, baby!".

"Good... bad... I'm the guy with the gun.".

Anyway, this movie is witty and wonderful. And yes, my wife of 30 years loves it too. So do all friends I've shown it to. If there was a 110%, I would choose it on the tomato meter. I just got the Blu Ray edition. It was $9 at Wal-Mart on Halloween. Put it next to Lord of the Rings, Wizards, Excaliber, Dragonslayer. Dragonheart. Conan the Barbarian. All of these are especially important if you play fantasy role playing games like D&D. Watch them all. Including Army of Darkness. Required viewing.

"Groovy.".