Review of Aquaman (2018) by William S — 04 Jan 2019

It occurred to me more than once as I watched this movie that Aquaman is basically DC's answer to Thor. Now I know full well that Aquaman was created in response to Marvel - then Timely Comics- Namor. But this Aquaman; the big, strong, kinda dumb hunk with the beard, the magical weapon and the goofball sense of humor, he's DC's Thor. And this movie, this equally goofy, fast paced, action driven blockbuster about a heroic fish out of water character (pun intended) fighting his brother for the throne; it feels a lot like the Thor franchise. For better and for worse.

Like Ragnarök, this whole production Is so cheerfully goofy. For instance, when Aquaman first faces his brother in a gladiatorial arena in front of cheering crowds, there's a holographic display of the fighter's stats, just like on ESPN. Later, Aquaman actually suggests peeing on something to properly hydrate it. Yes, it's that kind of movie. So naturally, the plot, such as it is, is completely predictable and exists mainly to string together the fight scenes and comic relief sequences.

And these are very good. I especially enjoyed the showdown with Black Manta that featured so heavily in the trailers, while the submarine fight in which they first meet made for a refreshingly serious change of pace. The gladiator fight is a lot of fun, and the massive final battle with multiple undersea fleets shooting it out even more so, though both scenes ended a bit too soon for my taste. The comic relief meanwhile is nonstop and pretty much all good, especially when Aquaman and Mera are bickering. They're a lot like Emmett and Wyldestyle from the Lego Movie, only with stronger romantic overtones.

It would be an understatement to say that Aquaman has tight pacing. With the exception of one inexplicable Semi Obligatory Lyrical Interlude, this is not a movie that believes in slow build-ups or stopping to catch its breath. Towards the end things keep speeding up more and more until everyone's rushing through every plot twist and expository speech like they've gone way over schedule and the crew is about to kick them out of their sound stage. And it's a good thing the pacing is fast, or else the numerous plot holes would be even more noticeable.

Like why doesn't Atlantis send emissaries to the surface to deliver a warning before declaring war? Why did Mera sneak Aquaman into Atlantis to show him something that she could easily have taken to him? How can the instructions for finding an ancient treasure involve something that wouldn't be built for millennia to come? You don't get to ask these questions, because by the time you get to them Aquaman is punching a bunch of monsters in the face.

While the plot may not be anything special, the visuals certainly are. This is an absolutely gorgeous movie. From the impressive set pieces and location shots in Sicily, to the futuristic, glowing Atlantean weapons and armor, to the massive battle sequences, every bit of this movie is a feast for the eyes. The production design is honestly Oscar worthy, which is the only that phrase can be applied to this movie.

Much of the dialog could easily have come from a Saturday morning cartoon or a high school play. Sometimes that's clearly intentional, meant to establish how clueless our protagonist is. Other times it just feels like no-one bothered to review the script or read the lines aloud before shooting, and the laughs are entirely unintentional. Sometimes I wonder how the actors are able to recite their lines without cracking up. Or why they didn't write new lines on a napkin between takes. But hey, I guess that's just part of the cheesy goodness.

Overall, this movie is dumb as all get out, but fun enough to mostly make up for it.

Aquaman may not be Wonder Woman, much less Avengers, but it's no Dawn of Justice or Suicide Squad either. It's a step in the right direction for DC, and a pretty good popcorn flick.