Review of Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie (2014) by Bheema D — 06 Aug 2014

Honestly, this movie's a shitload of fuck. I'd rather have Shit Pickle up my ass while sucking on Glitch Gremlin's cock while the Bullshit Man rubs his shitty face all over my crotch. I'd rather have Doug Walker hammer my chin and Kevin Finn smash his guitar against my exposed kneecaps while Pat the NES Punk bores me to death.

I'd rather be run over by a thousand over weight Jeff Bridges, in pickup trucks, with boots laced with beer bottle shards. I'd rather have a fisherman take a hook and dip it into a whore's STD ridden vaginal cavity, then have him sink that same hook into the roof of my mouth, reel me in and break my jaw.

I'd rather be the alien that crash-landed into a pile of horseshit in Nevada. I'd rather dip porcupine spines in cowshit, swallow the spines individually, and sweat them out of my eyeballs. In other words, this was pretty fucking awesome.