Review of American Ninja (1985) by Wild Z — 17 Jul 2010

Okay, I remember when my friend told me they were making a live action G.I.JOE movie. My first thought was that they already made that movie back in 1985 and it's called American Ninja. And guess what? This movie beats the shit out of G.

I.JOE in every way. Does G.I.JOE have a training scene with red, blue, yellow and black ninjas? No. Does G.I.JOE have a main character with awesome ninja skills and amnesia? No. Does G.I.JOE have a bad guy with the sweet name of "Victor Ortega"? No.

Once you accept that, yeah, this movie is truly terrible -that's a given- you can sit back, relax and enjoy the homoerotic relationship between Michael Dudikoff and Steve James. I have watched this movie (no exaggeration) at least 100 times since 1985.

I still own my original VHS copy, and that's really the only reason I still have a VCR. Please God let this movie come out on Blu-Ray. In fact, ignore my rating for this film because I just remembered that Steve James kills the bad guy with a rocket launcher, which retroactively scores this one a 100 percent.