Review of Amélie (2001) by Jane W — 19 Jul 2015

Amelie is obnoxiously twee and annoying. Despite the alleged source of her charm, Amelie is neither maladjusted, since she is doted upon by audiences, nor innocent, evinced by her previous casual sex fling and perverted Cheshire cat smile.

Seeing as her insecurities are suddenly vanquished by submitting to some random schmuck who works in a porn shop, Amelie is also far from the feminist heroine people believe her to be. She is a flat, inhuman, and contradictory character who primarily wins the hearts of her audiences by leaning invasively close to the camera with her puppy-dog eyes.

She has no genuine personality, and a list of quirks is a poor substitute for it. Worst of all, the movie's concept of charity is ruined by rubbish such as Amelie's simpering arrogance in likening herself to mother Teresa and the classic happy ending where karma makes up for any slight trouble Amelie may have undergone for being oh-so "selfless".

Sadly, the occasional nice gestures in Amelie are destroyed by cheesy flourishes, such as when the blind man she helps starts glowing like a radioactive goo monster. Admittedly, the cinematography is stylish, but that's all that Amelie is--a film of surfaces.

It's about a pretty girl with an empty head, fancy gift-wrap for a cheap present. Though I unashamedly indulge in tacky movies, even schmaltzy romances, I can't stomach Amelie (or any consciously "unique" hipster fare) at all.

I would gladly give this pretentious and contrived film 0 stars if I could.