Review of Alien: Covenant (2017) by Cambiandolados — 20 May 2017

Have you ever just wanted to scream like a little German girl at the sound of thrash cans falling down in an alley way in the cold streets of December in front of your date and question two male robots kiss? Then Alien covenant is going to get you %85 there.

Get ready to experience confusing feelings about the beginning of humanities extinction, like the time you drank non alcoholic beer for the first time and you realized you never like the taste but just drank to bury your non existing self confidence down.

Feel like you broke your jaw with a jaw breaker from the amazing cg effects has to offer and leave the theater with a speech impediment that'll leave you single for the rest of your life only to be reminded of your depressing life every time you watch this movie.

Never will you doubt agent Fox (x-files) for screaming aliens in the sky instead leave your family and friends to build a bunker at your parents house cuz your girlfriend kicked you out for having ptsd from this movie.

This plot will have you feeling like your term for hope really went out the window. (specially if your name is "hope") With twists and turns and some few plot holes that make you feel your driving down your parents dirt rode while getting head.

(asking yourself, why am I not driving on a solid rode for this and I cant stop now cuz it feels amazing.) With a great cast that falls into the stereotypical cast of horror that we all love. Emerge yourself in a planet that looks like earth and abandon because production spend a ton a money on advertising this movies hype so now you look at the exact almost look a like planet from the movie "Prometheus" and begin to wonder "wow.

.. every planet looks the **** same" Alien: Covenant will make you feel like you've watched "nightmare on elm street 5" all over again, but know that media has you hooked cuz you cant watch anything else but the same movie but this time before everything has happened.