Review of Alexander (2004) by Elina B — 27 Jan 2010

Oliver Stone's misfire is so terrible on so many levels, I hardly know where to start - should I begin with the incredibly poor casting (Val Kilmner and Angelina Jolie as Colin Farrell's mother and father? Really?), Jolie's sultry pouting and purring in an accent so weirdly Russian you expect her to say 'Moose and Squirrel' at any moment? Farrell's hyperbolic bug-eyed rages toward either a) his scheming mother and/or b) his incessantly whiny troops? The cornball script that plays like a cross between 'Conan the Barbarian' and 'All My Children'? The surprisingly cheesy-sounding syntho-score by Vangelis that sounds like it belongs in a direct-to-video sequel to 'The Last Starfighter'? Lots of bloodletting should be great fun for the kids though.