Review of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) by Lisette B — 18 May 2013

In Amadeus, an opera would shut down the same night if the king yawned three times. I bet he would've yawned twelve times during this movie. I know I did.

The movie had plot inconsistencies (1-vampires couldn't kill other vamps or even hurt them yet we see a battle royale between Henry and the Big Bad played by Rufus Sewell; 2- if Lincoln had silver on him throughout his fight with Sewell's character, why wait until the train fire to finally kill him?). The pacing was choppy and the script knocked viewers on the head with the Hammer of Obviousness (same with the novel written by the same guy who wrote the script--yeesh). I didn't think vampires could be boring but there ya have it. This movie proved me wrong!

It was kind of cool to see Mary Todd Lincoln wield a shotgun, though.

But I want my two hours back. At least I didn't pay to see this cinematic turd. One star for the stylized visuals that soon became annoying.