Review of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) by Mr. Magic M — 27 Jun 2013

I was a bit surprised at this movie. Personally, I thought it was very clever and original - something rarely witnessed on the modern-day movie screen. My current opinion of most Hollywood Productions are so low, I tend to get giddy and overwhelmed at lackluster productions.

Honestly, after most movies, my wallet's cerotic artery is bled dry and I find myself either, writhing in horrible pain at a cinema's exit or squatting grotesquely-howling at some nocturnal orb.

(Do you see where I am going with this?) Anyways, I will admit I wanted to see this movie so bad I cracked my casket lid rushing off to the early-evening showing. It did not take long to appease my seat-squirming anticipation.

The first neck-biter of a scene erased any fear of disillusionment. Subjective as movies may be, for me, this fast-paced hearse-ride was a whole lot of fun - all the way to the bitter fang's end. Not only was I pleased - I was blood-dripping happy with the entire movie.

My veins were pulsating with a flood of crimson happiness. Were there bad things about the movie - sure. No matter how good the movie is, it can be done better. Granted, I certainly do not want to upset the hysterical tongue-n-cheek quality of the story - but - look at the irony - vampires - (politicians) - (lawyers)? Scary irony - maybe? And then add Washington D.

C., so it's not your daddy's Transylvania - it's much worse and much scarier. It sends goose bumps running up and down my bat-wings - or spine....brrrr. But let's face it - what this country needs is a brand new vampire slayer in high-office.

Anyways - good job cast and crew. Remember - get home before the first dawn's light and don't leave the garlic out.