Review of A Talking Cat!?! (2013) by John M — 21 Sep 2013

Brain melt. So this is about Duffy (Eric Roberts), who is a talking cat that can help people through their existential crises... but can only talk to a person once and only once, and that is either due to movie magic or the fact that cats are inherently lazy.

Now I watched this because it was being touted as the next The Room, which is not something I am sure filmmakers should aspire to make (there can be only one Tommy Wiseau). This really is a movie that you have to see to believe it exists.

Firstly, you have these characters that are all living in universes completely independent of one another; people will say things to each other like they didn't even hear the previous line of dialogue, which ends up giving it a surreal, unnatural feel to it.

Next, you have the fact that this was done on the cheap cheap (no Room pun intended, I swear); when you see the cat talk for the first time, you will know exactly how much work went into it. And then you have the score, which repeats itself multiple times, and it is always goofy and draws attention to itself.

The dialogue is incapable of being saved, nobody knows how to talk to the opposite sex, and it sounds like Eric Roberts is talking through a tin can, which gives credence to the rumor that he literally phoned it in.

If you want to have a great time with this movie, take a shot every time somebody says "cheese puffs". If you were looking for a movie that makes Marmaduke look like Shakespeare, look no further.