Review of A Perfect Getaway (2009) by Ryan M — 19 Aug 2010

5.5/10.

Slasher flicks can be pretty entertaining most of the time, given that they are indeed generic body counts. And don?t we all love those! Well, very few slasher flicks are good, let alone intelligent. I mean, how intelligent can a movie that revolves almost too simply around blood and murder alone be? Well, not very. None the less, ?A Perfect Getaway? delivers on the blood and thrills of most slasher flicks, but also lacks the intelligence of past slashers such as the original ?Halloween?. I will admit that ?A Perfect Getaway? is MUCH better than I thought it was going to be. I typically hate movies that are predictable and so poorly marketed. Now, before you hassle me about it, I?ll tell you exactly why this movie is another poorly marketed near-catastrophe. The trailers and Television Spots tell you up front that the film is about a killer, although it?s your job to find out who it is. Do yourself a favor, people. Don?t think of the movie as a twisty sort of thing, and just use what?s laid out right in front of you. Yes, this is one of those movies that will keep faking you out, although in the end it was too predictable to be fully functional. No matter, it wasn?t a bad slasher/thriller. It?s semi-entertaining for the most part, but the actual ?slashing? doesn?t happen until about the last half hour, and up until then it?s just a plain old guessing game. You can guess all you want, not that it matters. I think the end result will be just plain disappointing, although the film?s scenery, music, and even the decent acting make up for the awfulness that this predictable film could have easily been. So enjoy it for what it is, and try not to think too much while watching it. It?s the damndest thing, really. It?s almost as if with the entertainment, there seems to be something to think about. But alas, it?s really just you. The film is not for thinkers, and is rather simple minded. In the end, it is an above average slasher flick that doesn?t jump the fence of mediocrity, but remains SOMEWHAT entertaining throughout (despite the absolutely horrible black and white recreation scene, which provides info, but still is just plain annoying).

So two Honeymooners by the names of Cliff and Cydney are vacationing in Hawaii, where their biggest worries are but the occasional slippery slope and the general phobia of heights. We learn that there is apparently a ?killer? on the loose nearby, although our characters don?t discover that until just a bit later. Early in their travels, they meet Nick, a slick and seemingly good-natured man who is also vacationing with his long time girlfriend. The two couples begin to travel together, and soon Nick and his girlfriend Georgina become major characters in our story-line. Now, since we all know the premise (someone?s a killer), it?s up to the audience to decide between which couple is the REAL killer (since there?s a woman and a man apparently). And??well, there?s not much more after that. I?ll describe a bit more WITHOUT spoiling who are the two partners in crime. After we find out who ?did it?, there?s a little black and white recap (which hurts like hell to watch for some odd reason). Then, the actual killings begin. There are some pretty good slasher scenes to be found here, although the actual plot is ludicrous. I mean, without knowing the premise, the movie may have been a bit more unpredictable and shocking. But since media, television, trailers ruin everything nowadays, there?s not a handful of ?wows? to be found here. And as for who the killer is, well let me just say it?s too obvious and you should save yourself from surrendering your thoughts to this overall worthwhile little flick. It is harmless to the genre after all, and it gets the job done without being insulting or genuinely revolting. But if you want some cheap thrillers, here?s where to get a couple decent ones. It is, after all, a slasher film. So what more or less could you possibly expect? (Well, maybe more and maybe less, but you get the overall point.).

Yet another slasher flick with a bad cast which does surprisingly decent. Steve Zahn is actually pretty solid, not that he?s at all mysterious, but he doesn?t need to be. Milla Jovovich is as questionable as ever (is she decent, is she bad), although that?s beside the point. At least she doesn?t attempt to have serious human emotions and/or an actual character. Timothy Olphant is as decent (and character-wise undeveloped) as you remember him being, so at least there?s no surprises or letdowns there. Kiele Sanchez is semi-decent in her role, although she fits right in with the crew that could very possibly get ?slashed?. Otherwise, there are a couple other supporting actors that do decently, and at least none of the dialogue is wrist-slittingly awful. None of the characters are stereotypes, but then again none of them are ?true characters?. In the end, they?re all typical slasher flick victims/slashers.

Admit it, most slasher films aren?t scary at all. Classic ones would be films that are existent simply to show what can jump out of your closet, window, or from anywhere, and essentially hack you up into tiny bits. There are some classic slasher villains as well (Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees??Freddy Krueger), although any of them in ?A Perfect Getaway? do not qualify as memorable, let alone endearing. The film may have some thrilling moments, but it is never scary. Nor is it jumpy, or too heavy for the squeamish. It may be a LITTLE bloody, but it?s nothing that most film fanatics can?t handle. But to improve over the shortcomings of a generic slasher flick, ?A Perfect Getaway? has some pretty beautiful scenery (where you know?.all the killings take place). Also, the cinematography is pretty great in some sequences. But the story within this film is far from pleasing, and utterly predictable. It?s hard to truly love a movie such as ?A Perfect Getaway?, mostly because it?s just so damn typical. It will please the crowd which doesn?t know the difference between generic and masterfully classical, but most film-goers won?t eat stuff like this up so fast and so easy. ?A Perfect Getaway? is a tough sell because it?s truly cheesy, but has thrills. It is really your decision regarding which one you care about most, although in the end I think you will agree that this is a forgettable film. Also, the original score is mediocre and fits in with the film. Also, also, there?s oodles of bloody murder in the end, so bear with it if you want to see someone get knifed in the hand. Otherwise, it?s a little too generic for its own good.

I will not say I liked this film, but I will not say that I hated it either. Sure, it surpassed my expectations, but that still isn?t saying a whole lot. None the less, it is predictable and literally, nothing special. Nothing new, nothing exciting (aside from a couple good thrills). But you know what, I lived with it anyways. It?s not a BAD movie, so what the hell. Watch it all the way through, and you?ll have a decent piece of entertainment on your hands. But beware; this is NOT a good way to start with the genre. I prefer that you begin with something more awesome than this. But once you?ve adapted, give this better-than-what?s-typically-out-there slasher flick a go, because it may be worth your time (it sure wasn?t exactly worth mine, I suppose). Just see it as you will. Suddenly, I want to watch Halloween. Maybe I?ll wait a bit, though.