Review of 10,000 BC (2008) by J.d.l. — 16 Mar 2008

Plenty of sweeping vistas, but far too many historical, ethnic, technological, and geographic inconsistencies and outright falsehoods, longwinded narrations, stilted, wooden performances, and unimpressive special effects.

Also WAY too much use of the line combination "This Way!", "Move move move!", and "Hurry!" By the end of the film, me and my friends didn't even remember any of the silly made-up names of anyone, nor did we care a whit about what happened to them throughout the movie.

And the fact that it takes a white guy to unite and lead a force of black and brown (how they can communicate with one another is beyond me) is a bit goofy and demeaning. If this is the best Roland Emmerich can do, he has NO business writing or directing films, especially on such large budgets.

And in an age where so many Americans are ignorant or stupid or both, throwing all this pseudohistory at them is not helpful. The great pyramids weren't built until 2300 B.C., they weren't that big, and they didn't use mammoths to build them! I could go one forever with the silliness, but in the end all I can do is scratch my head and wonder WHY they did such a bad job with this.

Finally, the PG-13 rating totally neutered the excitement and/or realism a movie about prehistory requires. 10,000 B.C.