Movie Reviews by Brian Juergens - Page 5 of 11

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Review of Clash of the Titans (2010)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 01 Apr 2010

The only way that this stupid, ugly mess of a movie could be considered 3-D would be if the third dimension were dirty hair…

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Review of The House on Skull Mountain (1974)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 04 Feb 2010

While it may have been spurred by the blaxploitation craze, the sensibilities of this odd gothic horror movie owe more to Black Sabbath than…

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Review of Faceless (2008)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 25 Jan 2010

An insanely sleazy Eurotrash remake of Eyes Without a Face that was quite possibly conceived and produced by a can of hairspray and a kilo…

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Review of Faceless (2014)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 25 Jan 2010

An insanely sleazy Eurotrash remake of Eyes Without a Face that was quite possibly conceived and produced by a can of hairspray and a kilo…

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Review of Faceless (1988)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 25 Jan 2010

An insanely sleazy Eurotrash remake of Eyes Without a Face that was quite possibly conceived and produced by a can of hairspray and a kilo…

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Review of The Lovely Bones (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 11 Dec 2009

Despite good performances and slick design, its confused perspective leaves Bones as emotionally engaging as a visit to a particularly well-maintained…

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Review of The Fourth Kind (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 05 Nov 2009

In short, The Fourth Kind pisses on your leg, tells you it's raining, and then tries to sell you a raincoat made of dog hair and corn chips…

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Review of The House of the Devil (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 14 Oct 2009

This pitch-perfect genre throwback would be right at home among the creaky and weird supernatural thrillers of the 70's and 80's…

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Review of Paranormal Activity (2007)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 12 Oct 2009

It's worth checking out, but just barely. I'm sorry to say that the scariest thing about this film is the couple's godawful taste in home furnishings…

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Review of Couples Retreat (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 08 Oct 2009

If battering an audience in the face with Jon Favreau's waxed bosoms for 102 minutes now qualifies as comedy, I never want to laugh again…

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Review of Trick 'r Treat (2007)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 05 Oct 2009

Feels not just like a series of stories set on Halloween, but a blood-spattered portrait of what makes this holiday so beloved, so dangerous,…

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Review of Zombieland (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 01 Oct 2009

While not a true zom-com classic like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland is just as much breezy, brainless fun as one of the rollercoasters that…

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Review of The Invention of Lying (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 30 Sep 2009

Here's a philosophical question worth pondering: If only half of the movie is a bad rom-com, is it half-empty or half-full…

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Review of Afterschool (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 29 Sep 2009

Deserves credit for managing to make prep school seem like the most hellish place on the planet, but is at some points hard to watch for all…

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Review of I Sell the Dead (2008)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 13 Sep 2009

This one put a smile on my face in a way that few zombies movie have since they reanimated Mae West for Sextette…

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Review of Taking Woodstock (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 26 Aug 2009

Like its central character, Woodstock never makes it to the big show…

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Review of District 9 (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 14 Aug 2009

Like all great science fiction, District 9 entertains mercilessly even as it challenges us to be better people. Original, urgent and not to be missed…

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Review of Horsemen (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 10 Aug 2009

The scenes of Quaid interrogating Zhang boast the hottest 'Outlet Mall Silence of the Lambs Acting' we're likely to see this year…

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Review of Orphan (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 29 Jul 2009

Balancing well-rendered melodrama with some impressively ballsy genre moves, Orphan is more enjoyable trash than it should be…

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Review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

By Brian Juergens (209) for CampBlood.org (64) on 13 Jul 2009

An impressive and troubling work, boasting a dark and nightmarish undertow that many more adult or legitimate films attempt but fail to achieve…

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