Review of Zoom (2006) by Carter M — 12 May 2014

Poor Adam Rifkin and David Berenbaum. Their adaptation of "Zoom's Academy" courtesy of Team Todd breaks the most fundamental basics of story development.

It isn't their fault. Blame must go to producers Jennifer and Suzanne Todd. I can't help but think these producers of MUST LOVE DOGS and the Austin Powers sequels played an influential hand in ZOOM's script development. What am I saying? Of course they were involved. That's part of their job.

But why do I care? I mean, Christ, I'm just a movie-goer with a kid. My little one liked it quite a bit. It's not like she's whispering to me, "Dad, the director is breaking the visual narrative.".

I care because Team Todd knew they were making a shitty film and wanted to try to cash in on all the superhero film buzz. Unfortunately, the Todds require tremendous schooling in storytelling. That, or they should let their writers do their job and write an acceptable script.

Parents, if your kids are dying to see ZOOM, go ahead and go, but make sure you've given yourself a swirley first. That way you know why you're laughing throughout the infernal drivel that is ZOOM.