Review of Zombieland (2009) by Ilhm — 10 Mar 2013

All it takes is a few simple rules to survive Zombieland, the world that has been left behind after a deadly virus turns most of the population in to flesh-eating monsters. At least that is how Columbus has managed to stay alive up until he teams with Tallahassee on the road home to find his parents.

The two are taken hostage by a pair of crafty sisters along the way, who convince them to travel together to the Pacific Playland amusement park in Los Angeles, which is supposed to be a safe haven from zombies.

Needless to say, they are in for a bumpy ride! What is perhaps the most irritating thing about ZOMBIELAND besides the annoying characters and directionless plot is the fact that there are hardly any zombies in it to begin with.

Why travel cross-country on the chance that some mythical amusement park might be zombie-free when the group only encounters a few zombies in the first place? The survival rules would have been much funnier if they had not already been used years before in Max Brook's infinitely superior Zombie Survival Guide.

Jesse Eisenberg proves that he is the poor man's Michael Cera by offering up another wimpy performance with worse comedic timing than ever. Emma Stone is just as bad, and can't be taken seriously in her role.

Thankfully, Woody Harrelson comes along to provide us with some temporary relief as the Twinkie-starved Tallahassee, who takes a great deal of pleasure in dispensing pain. The climactic battle at Pacific Playland is short-lived, and hardly worth the wait when the excitement of fighting zombies at an amusement park is squandered on a few measly rides.

With the exception of the film's one notable cameo, ZOMBIELAND is a laughless comedy with hardly any horror that is not nearly as clever or witty as it is commonly made out to be.