Review of Youth in Revolt (2009) by Bitter E — 27 Dec 2010

As much as I hate to admit it, if there ever was a movie made about my boring, bland life Michael Cera would play me. We're both dorky, socially inept twenty-somethings with lanky, bleach-white bodies that force every vagina in a ten mile radius to snap shut like a wary oyster sheltering itself from intrusion. The main difference between us is that he's a charming, up-and-coming celebrity and I'm a wretched misanthrope that spends his free-time shouting at brick walls and who's only friend is that damn Tomato (you'll get yours, you sunglasses-wearing bastard). Anyway, let's move on to one of Cera's more recent films, Youth in Revolt.

Youth in Revolt is a teen, Romantic-Comedy about Nick Twisp (Cera), a teen who struggles with that most hated of teenage afflictions: virginity. Yes, it's another "loser trying to shed his virginity" plot here, which is about as unique to teenage comedies as pastry is to Jason Bigg's member. But wait, there's a Twisp (bad pun)-after Nick is turned down by his obligatory love-interest Sheeni Saunders (Portia Doubleday) he decides to create an alternate "bad-boy" persona for himself whom he calls Francois Dillinger in order to sneak his way into her heart and presumably her pants as well...okay, it's the same old crap. Why? Because even with a twist, Romantic-Comedy (even a teenage romantic-comedy) is a dead genre.

Of course I'm being overly critical, but before you bite my head off about how much an asshole I am and rapidly tap the "dislike" button like an experimental gerbil hooked up to a heroine dispenser, let's establish some context for my bile. Romantic-comedy is, of course, a genre and, like all genres, it has its own hackneyed plots and clichés: Mysteries have down-on-their-luck detectives discovering vast, world-wide conspiracies often headed up by some Richard Nixon wannabe; Action movies have nonsensical 'splosions with muscle-clad heroes jumping to safety a mere two inches away before they get hand-jived by the local farmer's daughter; even Horror movies have impossibly dense characters getting their limbs brutally misplaced by developmentally impaired serial killers just looking for a hug and a fresh-from-the-oven McRib (as if such a thing existed). So understand what I mean when I say that out of all the genres, the Romantic-Comedy is by far the most stereotypical and monotonous. At least with all of the other genres there is the potential for different endings-shades of grey to the whole "will the good guy win or lose" conflict-yet the Rom-Com is purely a two party system: they'll get together or they won't. There's no room for a run-off election here, it's one or the other-usually meaning the former. This is a conundrum so bland and uninspired you might as well take bets on what number's going to show up next in a binary sequence (to delve into increasingly esoteric jokes).

So how do most Rom-Coms try to get around this trope so inescapably fused into their genetic make-up? Well (returning to the film that kicked-off this rant), Youth in Revolt does so by introducing quirky, Indy characters who the producers hope will overshadow the plot which has been copy-pasted so many times it's beginning to look like Joan Rivers' face. First we have Nick-but since this is just the same Michael Cera you've seen in every one of his other films that's nothing special-and then we have Sheeni-who, for the first half of the movie, is built up as a sexually open, highly independent product of modern feminism. However, as all Rom-Com's eventually do, all of this characterization is caste out like a prom night dumpster baby about half-way through in order for the expected "will they or won't they" plot to hijack the whole pleasant affair. This is especially telling when Sheeni, who earlier in the movie was completely cool with having Nick's engorged, purple-headed monster caress her bare back, becomes uncomfortable about cuddling with him while her roommate has sex a few feet away. At this point, Sheeni just becomes another faceless love interest who should be as recognizable to actual women as I apparently am behind their bushes. In other words, this plot is about as predictable as any other romantic comedy you can imagine from the past millennium with the exception of Casablanca.

Nonetheless, don't take my tedious diatribe to be an attack on Youth in Revolt. It's not a bad film just a mediocre one with a few redeemably funny moments intermixed between the stale teenage Romantic-Comedy plot. I'll give a recommendation to practically any movie that makes me laugh nowadays and I feel that Cera's performance as a split-personality character might actually be what he needs to finally break from his own, self-imposed mold (if only I could do the same). That said, it is a movie that fails to stand out in any way or form-so much so that I've actually spent more of this review talking about everything related to the movie rather than the movie itself. Imagine a Rom-Com starring a teenage cast, one of whom is Michael Cera, and throw in some touches of Indy film making here and there. Once you've accomplished that, run that basic premise through your head for about an hour and a half until Cera and his hot love interest finally hip-bump their way into an embarrassing, premature climax that ends in disappointment. Congratulations, you just experienced Youth in Revolt. Now go spend your money renting Superbad-a better teenage comedy about Michael Cera trying to lose his virginity without the shitty Rom-Com twist.