Review of You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010) by Joel M — 07 May 2011

I was knocking on wood that Woody Allen's "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" had the same witty banter and magnetic intertwining story lines as some of The Woodsman's greatest hits which encompassed that formula such as "Crimes and Misdemeanors" and "Hannah and Her Sisters".

My foresight was telling me that would soon be a reality after the film's 98 minutes running time. What I ended up meeting instead was a decent, worthy film but not in the same ballpark of Woody's greatest hits.

"You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" is set in Woody's new New Yorkâ?¦ that would be London. Allen has directed various films there in the last ten years. The tall (well maybe not all tall) and dark (well maybe not even one of them dark) characters of the movie include: Alfie Shebritch- a wealthy, older Brit who craves to be like an iconic movie Brit character also named Alfie by going "more than middle age crazy" by leaving his wife Helena to live it up in his twilight time; Sally Channing- Alfie and Helena's pre middle-age daughter who is quenching to open an art gallery, have a baby, or leave her lackadaisical struggling writer husband Roy; Speaking of Roy, he himself quenches the young juices of a beautiful young neighbor Dia whom he stalks from his apartment window to hers.

Now I am going back to Sally, Sally, Sally, I am going back to Sally, I do think soâ?¦ Sally has a boss crush on Greg, the art gallery director which she serves as assistant of course; and returning to Alfie whose Ponce De Leon fountain searching eventually lead him to marry a gold-digging British prostitute named Charmaine, sounds charming doesn't it; Oh, and I must tell that Helena sees a faux fortune teller named Cristal (but of course) who tells Helena that (see movie title).

Allen's thesis statement of "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" is that you will meet a tall dark stranger; not really. It really is that when life puts you on the brink of a decisive moment to make a decision to change, that is does not necessarily guarantee improvement on the quality of life if change is your verdict.

There are admirable performances from the all-star cast of "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" which includes: Naomi Watts as Sally (that girl), Anthony Hopkins as Alfie, Josh Brolin as Roy, Antonio Banderas as Greg, Gemma Jones as Helena, and a brilliant Pauline Collins as Cristal.

However, Lucy Punch's over-the-top performance as Charmaine and Freida Pinto's D.O.A. portrayal of Dia were not in that same caliber as the aforementioned seasoned thespian pros. I must say that Freida is quite a vision so maybe I was wishing she would meet a tall, corny, pseudo movie critic, and did not focus on her performance at all.

This movie does entertain due to its variety of compelling characters, where it falters a bit is that drives the moral of the stories with a "beat on a dead horse" composition, and it is not as analytical challenging as many of Allen's past narratives.

I think you should meet and will like "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger", but then again I foresee that love will not be around the cinematic corner once you finish laying your eyes on it.

**** Good.