Review of You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010) by Spangle — 07 Jan 2017

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger finds veteran director Woody Allen on autopilot. Essentially a film about people discovering that life is largely meaningless and that delusions keep us happy and willing to move on, the film is pretty bleak and cynical. Starring an ensemble cast of Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Gemma Jones, Antonio Banderas, Lucy Punch, and Freida Pinto, the film's plot is pretty simple. Getting older, a woman's husband leaves her for a call girl in search of meaning and youth. To cope, she begins to meet with a fortune teller. Though those around her tell her that it is not real, she begins to believe in reincarnation and that she will soon meet a "tall dark stranger". By the end of the film, it becomes clear she was the smart one.

Some could interpret this film as slightly anti-religion. Surely, many have declared that religion is merely a delusion. As Allen is an atheist and he has even put religion on the level of fortune tellers, this angle certainly makes sense. Yet, this is simplistic. If anything, Allen is encouraging people to "delude" themselves by believing whatever they want to make themselves happy. While Helena Shepridge (Gemma Jones) is left by her husband, distraught, and lost, she is the only happy character at the end. Meeting a man, Jonathan (Roger Ashton-Griffiths), who owns an Occult bookstore and believes in reincarnation as well, Helena is finally happy after a long time. Their mutual delusions and belief in reincarnation and the power of fortune tellers has left them deeply in love and satisfied with their lives. This cannot be said for any character who has given into lust via the marrying of call girls, leaving their spouses, full-on adultery, are failures, are devious, or just deeply unhappy. Turns out that if they just went to the fortune teller as well, their lives would have been far happier and more fulfilling.

Aside from Helena, everybody else suffers from incredible strife in their lives, but possibly none more than Roy Channing (Josh Brolin). Married to Sally (Naomi Watts), who wants to have sex without contraception in order to have a child, Roy is struggling. He does not want to have a child and is set to give into lust and learn that the grass is always greener on the other side. Or, in his case, the girl is always hotter through the window. A one-hit wonder in the literature world, Roy cannot write anymore and keeps turning out books nobody wants to publish. So, he opts to steal the book of his dead friend and claim it as his own, which of course raises problems when the friend is not dead. He also leaves his wife for Dia (Freida Pinto) because he thought she looked hot through the window. Sadly for Roy, the film ends with him seeing Sally through the window and coming to the realization that she too is attractive. Poor Roy. All self-inflicted of course, but he was one of the most ardent opposers of the fortune teller for Helena. Moral of the story here? Find what makes you happy and do not pick at it. Alfie (Anthony Hopkins), the husband of Helena, suffers from this when he marries a call girl and then wants to get back together with Helena when he realizes she is not a great wife. Roy and Alfie both picked at their happiness is search of something more and to pursue a path they were not meant to pursue. They refused to go with the flow and now wind up as two of the most unhappy characters in the film. In many ways, they tried to live out a life that Allen, at the beginning and end of the film, has already declared is meaningless. If life is pointless, it is better to delude yourself into believing something instead of pursuing meaning and purpose. If you do pursue it, it will leave you lacking anything.

Of course, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is a very philosophical and existential film. Many of Woody's films are and this one is no exception. Yet, it is very fleeting. It drops tid bits of opinions and philosophies and then scurries away. It is not nearly as funny or impactful as his best works and is, at worst, a largely forgettable experience. Within a few weeks, it is likely that this film will escape my mind. Though invariably a good time and some easy, but smart, watching, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is one that only Woody Allen fans should really opt to watch. For those who are not a fan of the guy, this film will really, really suck. Fortunately, his cynicism and existentialism are always incredibly watchable and with great actors doing their thing in a Woody Allen film, this one will never be a totally irredeemable watch. As a whole, the film is flawed, but its story is so engrossing, so odd, and its actors so good, it is hard to look away from.