Review of Yoga Hosers (2016) by Brandon W — 05 Dec 2016

Yoga Hosers is directed and written by Kevin Smith, and it stars Lily-Rose Depp, Harley Quinn Smith, and Johnny Depp in a comedy film about two teenage girls that are on their phones, and don't want to work.

When they have to stay at work, a bunch of Nazis that are made from bratwurst come across their store, and they have to stop them. I've seen the trailers for the movie, and honestly it looked like crap when I saw it, but it was Kevin Smith, so I kept myself hopeful for the film, and when it was on Netflix and can be downloaded for offline viewing, I figured I should just make this my first movie to downloading, and man was it worse than I thought, but I probably knew deep inside about what I was getting into.

Let's get to the positives first, Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith are great in this and have good chemistry together. Johnny Depp is not nearly as annoying as he was in Tusk, which felt like he was in an extended Family Guy joke.

Ralph Garman is the most amusing part of the film as he gives off impressions of American actors, and it's pretty well done and gives a few laughs out of me. It's different that you usually see in a film, which you can tell that Kevin Smith wanted to do just anything that he wants to do.

Now that that's done, let's get to why this movie sucked. The characters that the main characters play are very unlikable that it's grating to see those type of characters that are just all that.

The style is different then I see from a Kevin Smith film, but the style they have isn't good and just doesn't feel natural in terms of what high school students are like and felt like a list of what students do that's popular, which is distracting knowing the fact that Kevin Smith doesn't quite know about how they act.

The effects look very cartoony to look at, even disgusting in a bad way. There are some chuckles that I got, but it's unfunny, and the wit that Kevin Smith had from his script is not there and just filled with lots of groan-inducing moments.

I remember that Kevin Smith was talking about the last act as an apology to critics, and a lot of people thought of the last act as against the critics. When I see it, I didn't see it as against the critics, but I also don't quite see how it's an apology either.

A lot of the moments felt like quirks for the sake of being quirky, and it's just irritating to watch. Yoga Hosers is so terrible that I hope that Kevin Smith redeems himself with Moose Jaws, if not, then thank goodness True North Trilogy is at the end.